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Be conscious of her good habits

In another tradition of this chapter Hazrat Abu Hurairah radhiallaahu anhu] has narrated:

(Sahih Muslim-Book of suckling chapter counsel about women)

In this Tradition the Holy Prophet has mentioned a wonderful principle that a believing man should not hate a believing woman altogether. In other words, the man should not condemn her totally on the false plea that she is no good. If she has some undesirable triats in her conduct she must have in her some desirable traits also.

The first principle which the Holy Prophet [sallallaahu alyhi wasallam] has taught is that when two persons live together, some habit of the one is pleasant and some other habit unpleasant to the other.

If the woman has some unpleasant habit in her, then do not condemn her on account of that habit altogether, rather look for and remember her pleasant habits and thank Almighty Allah for them. If you follow this practice it is quite possible that the hatred in your heart for the dark side of her conduct and character may gradually lose its severity and importance.

Man, in fact, is ungrateful. If he finds any defects in her he totally changes his opinion about the person concerned and forgets about his good qualities. In view of those few faults and defects, he is always critical about him and misbehaves with him. Such attitude is unreasonable.

Everything has virtues and vices in it

There is nothing in the world which is all virtue and all vice. Almighty Allah has, by His wisdom, endowed everything of His creation with virtue and vice. You are sure to find some good qualities in every person, may he be an infidel, an idolater or even worse.

An English proverb

The Holy Prophet [sallallaahu alyhi wasallam] has said: A word of wisdom is a lost property of a believer. He must pick it up wherever he finds it. So there is no harm in picking up a word of wisdom even from an English Proverb.

The proverb said that even a watch which has gone out of order speaks the truth at least twice every day. Suppose that the watch stopped at 12 hrs., 5 mts,. As the time 12-5 occurs twice during the 24 hours, the dead watch shall tell the correct time twice at 12-5 hrs, although it will remain silent at other times.

The moral we draw from this English proverb is that if one is in search of goodness with hope and sincerity one can surely find this goodness even from the most condemned and throw-away objects.

There is nothing bad in the workshop of Nature

My father Mufti Muhammad Shafi’ Sahib [ra] used to recite frequently the following Urdu couplet of the late Dr. Muhammad Iqbal:

There is nothing useless in the earth There is nothing bad in the workshop of nature.

Whatever Almighty has created has created it with His wisdom and by His will. If you reflect on it you will surely find in Allah’s creation point of Wisdom and benefit. Instead man looks for faults and shortcomings only and ignores the good points and bright sides of things. Thus he becomes pessimistic and commits transgression and injustice.

Always look for the good qualities of women

Almighty Allah has said in His Book:

"For if you hate them, it may happen that you hate a thing wherein Allah has placed much good." (4:19)

If for some reason you do not like those women whom you have married, yet it is just possible that Almighty Allah may have endowed them with much goodness and blessings. Hence this command that you should look only for the good qualities of women. so that you may receive solace and comfort from them and thus the doors of mistrust and misbehaviour may not be opened.