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QUESTION: Recently my father passed away. I had heard previously that women are not suppose to visit graves. I blindly followed this, until it came to my father. I felt unable to comply anymore. A few of my relatives tried to stop me and my sisters, but I made sincere dua to Allah, that I am only visiting my father's grave to gain sabar, to see his final resting place, and to remind myself of death. I never raise my hands to the grave, infact I make dua for him in the direction of the Kahbah. I go fully covered. I don't see any fitna there, as when ever I have gone to the cemetery, I never see anyone else there. In addition I do not frequent going, once in 2 weeks. If women are not allowed to visit, and I have read that one should go to the graves to remember death. Does this mean that women should not be reminded of death. I am so upset at my father's demise, that going to the grave gave me immense sabr. Had I not gone I would have been in a real state. Also I strongly believe in Allah SWT's mercy, that in HIS infinite mercy and love, HE Almighty will not punish me in going to my fathers' grave due to being so upset and missing him. I have also read a Hadith which stated that Aisha (May Allah be pleased with her), visited her brother's grave. So what is the ruling on this issue. ANSWER: May Allah give you strength to bear your trials. Know that Allah is with the patient, and loves those who are content with His Decrees. In the Hanafi school, it is permitted for women to visit the grave, as long as they are properly dressed, and ensure that there is no undue intermixing with non-mahram men, and that they do not behave inappropriately, such as wailing. In the Fatawa al-Hindiyya, considered one of the foremost references for fatwa in the Hanafi school, it says,

"The scholars differed about women visiting graves. al-Sarakhsi (Allah have mercy on him) said that the soundest position is that it is not wrong." (5: 350)

In al-Sarakhsi's own al-Mabsut, he says,

"The soundest opinion in our school is that the dispensation (to visit graves) is present for both men and women, because it has been related that `A'isha (Allah be pleased with her) used to visit the grave of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) at all times, and that when she went on Hajj she visited the grave of her brother Abd al-Rahman (Allah be pleased with him)..." (24: 10)

This is confirmed by Ibn Nujaym in his al-Bahr al-Ra'iq.Ibn Abidin said in his supercommentary on this work,

al-Ramli said, "As for women, if they visit graves to renew their sorrows, or to cry and wail, as is the customary practice of many, it is not allowed for them to visit graves. This is how the Prophetic hadith that, "Allah has cursed women who visit graves," is understood. As for if they visit for contemplation, compassion, and seeking baraka by visiting the graves of the righteous, then it is not wrong if they are elderly. It is disliked if they are young [f: and there is fear of fitna from their attending....] (Ibn Abidin, Minhat al-Khaliq Hashiyat al-Bahr al-Ra'iq, 2: 210)

Among that which shows that women's visiting graves is not unlawful is the hadith narrated by Anas (Allah be pleased with him) that, "The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) passed by a woman who was crying by a grave. He said, 'Fear Allah and be patient.'" (Reported by Bukhari and Muslim) The permissibility is understood, as the fuqaha tell us because he did not forbid her from visiting the grave, and had it been unlawful it would have been obligatory for the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) to forbid her.

And Allah knows best.

Wassalam,
Faraz Rabbani.

[Source: SunniPath]

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