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QUESTION: There are some sisters who discuss issues of married life together. Sometimes, sensitive issues come up, such as bedroom manners, how to look good for one’s husband, avoiding najasa (filth) from getting on bedding, and such things. What are the appropriate Shariah limits to be aware of in such matters? ANSWER: Walaikum assalam, There are several considerations: 1. It is important for Muslims, especially in these times of fitna and lack of access to religious extended families, to have awareness of bedroom ways, as well as other matters of successful family life. 2. It is essential that modesty, decency, and propriety be maintained when discussing such issues. 3. It is essential not to discuss such matters in any way that leads to any intimate details of one's bedroom life (or other private marital matters) to come out into the open.

4. The way to do this is to discuss matters in the third person... "They say..." "One can..." etc... Not, "I do..." "He does..." Within the bounds of #2 above, this actually allows for more open discussion.

5. It is essential to avoid gossip, backbiting ["Mentioning another in a way they are expected to dislike," as the Prophet Muhammad (Allah bless him and give him peace) defined it], tale-bearing [namima, "To mention things about others they do not wish mentioned or that worsen relations between people"] in such gatherings.

6. It would be excellent to add a spiritual dimension to such meetings by singing together, or for someone to recite a few verses of Qur'an, spiritual poetry, etc... This helps give the gathering baraka, higher direction, and success (tawfiq).

Walaikum assalam,
Faraz Rabbani.

[Source: SunniPath]